This week the very funny Tim Ferguson takes us through The Big Gig to Axed! and much in between.

We review Emerald Falls.

Plus your latest fix of News and Pork and all things television.

Box Box Boxcutters

Hear here:

• RSS feed
• iTunes
• Direct Download

Talk

We discuss classifications and what not and it leads to some rather blue language, so be warned.

Also, the usual smattering of Pork, some News, a little Reality upfront, the Quiz, and a Things We Did Miss ? the excellent UK comedy The Thick Of It.

Enjoy

Listen:

• RSS feed
• iTunes
• Direct Download

say

121 – rhythms with fun!

Listen:

• RSS feed
• iTunes
• Direct Download

say

We chat to David Knox the man behind the always informative TV Tonight website about television and television blogging.

We risk life and limb and possible defamation with a review of Underbelly.

There?s a couple of Crap TVs.

And an extra helping of Pork.

Listen:

• RSS feed
• iTunes
• Direct Download

say

Anybody else see it?

Screening 10pm Mondays for the next 8 weeks.

Pure gold.

Alternately check out the cover and special features here

With the exception possibly of Damages that group has the freshness of week old garbage at best.

To borrow a bit of football parlance I think it?s about time Nine started ?tanking?. 2007 is over, start thinking about 2008. In the meantime, try some different ideas, blood some new players.

Here are some things they could try:

*Give shows more than one of two eps to find their audience. ER has disappeared from our screens already. It was always going to struggle up against Californication.

*Weeds is funnier and more irreverent than Californication and could easily be just as much a hit here. Nine could give it a proper run, showing an entire series or two, unedited, in a consistent timeslot with a bit of promotion.

*Why not use the HBO output deal to give Flight Of The Conchords a run? (Same rules apply as for Weeds) Or the new relationship drama Tell Me You Love Me.

I know none of these ideas will help Nine win the rating the rating but neither will this steaming pile of guff they are serving us.

EDIT Channel 9 are apparently going to screen series two of Weeds from Oct 1st at 10:30pm… Whether this means consistent, unedited and promoted screens remains to be seen.

Big name guests, surprises, enormous givaways… we’ve got none of it. Thats right for ep 100 we just decided to go classic Boxcutters. Three guys eating cake and talking telly. An ep with the lot. One of everything. All our segments are here, including: News, Ratings, a Raywatch actually about Ray (and Mary And Gary), an all time classic on Things You May Have Missed, a very special I Don’t Buy It, a look at new show The Kill Point, an investigation into Media Watch, Quotes, Quiz and of course some Pork.

Thanks to Catbrain for the delicious cake.

Listen:

Comment to us

?He swore he?d get revenge, even if it took 100 episodes. And here it is, slightly over 99 episodes later and still no revenge. We?re essentially in the clear.?

Tonight on Boxcutters? John?s rotting corpse is discovered, but the post mortem answers few questions. There is mystery and intrigue as the gang assess the full extent of the Damages. A trip to Paris gets Sarah Jessica in trouble; while some questions are answered about the Doctor?s mysterious Master. Meanwhile, Mr Foxtel is in for a shock when one of his closest supports turns on I.Q.

99 Baby!!:

Tell us we know nothing

The shows have been selected through a mixture of appeal and influence. We have tried to limit it to the past 10 years , because that is when this resurgence has largely come about, however this does lead to difficulties. Generally any show that started before 1997 is out, but there are exceptions. For example Larry Sanders and Seinfeld are both out of the timeframe. Larry Sanders was pivotal in creating HBO as we know it so it is in, where as Seinfeld, while undoubtedly very influential but no so much in creating this ?Golden Age? is out. Confused? Excellent.

Obviously it is all very subjective (I mean Firefly??!? Phhhttt, what a joke), and we would love to hear your thoughts and comments. What should be in, what should be out. Tell us how wrong we are. We value your opinion, but remember – the envelope is always right?

THE OFFICIAL amended LIST:

Arrested Development
Buffy
Carinvale
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Deadwood
Entourage
Firefly
Futurama
Friday Night Lights
I?m Alan Partridge
The Larry Sanders Show
Lost
Love My Way
Nathan Barley
The Office
Oz
The Shield
Six Feet Under
The Sopranos
South Park
Weeds
The Wire

And by popular demand:

THE WEST WING!!!!

(the people have spoken)

THE PERIPHERALS:

Heroes (originally in, but tossed out on reflection)
The Newsroom (disappeared from the list at the 11th hour)
Sex And The City (again, unlucky not to be included)
The Games (the greatest Aussie comedy?)

Perfect 10 or wipeout? We look at the mysterious John From Cincinnati.

Crap TV focuses on some dodgy gag editing and credits erasing, while Crap Press examines a pointless spoiler.

Plus, it’s the return of the Quiz. Win stuff from us.

Your ears:

Your mouth

In the Golden Age of Television we look at a couple of ‘the’ shows – namely The Shield and The Wire.

There is also double trouble in I Don’t Buy It focusing on two different types of rip offs.

There’s some chat about reality show On The Lot. Plus News and Pork.

And stay tuned for details of our long awaited Crumpler Beanbag comp giveaway! (see below)

Listen here:

Contact us

James Talia calls up for a chat and a special Raywatch. We go in depth on ‘Who Killed Channel 9?’. Plus News, Quotes, Pork and other other general good stuff.

93 – made to enjoy.

Emotions:

Thoughts.

A newsreader refusing to read a Paris Hilton story.

Hot on the heels of Jericho and Veronica Mars, there is now a campaign to save dire, unfunny comedy The Class, with an online petition and an urge to send the network – wait for it – ERASERS! Genius.

Never mind the whole ‘how could anyone even watch The Class, let alone want to save it’ question – shows get axed, it’s a fact of life, deal with it. And if you are going to try and save it make sure the show is something worthwhile, not a show that should never have been made in the first place.

Already I have read breathless ‘Lets do a petition’ talk about Studio 60, ‘It worked with Jericho’. Where will it end?

Maybe we can start looking retrospectively at shows. Gee that Suddenly Susan was a great show, maybe we can send the network lazy susans. Or we can send potatoes to save M.A.S.H. Or drugs to get Miami Vice back.

Any suggestions? Come on people, we have the power…

Lots of News

Lots of Jess McGuire (after lots of time with none)

Lots of anger over Telstra and Sopranos spoilsports

Lots of animated Golden Age of Television

A little Sesame

Lots of pork

Lots of fun

Lots of ways:

Lots of feedback.

Maybe TIVO won’t as doomed as we first thought.

Also, Alias Season 5 finally makes it to our screens Sunday night. Better late than never I suppose. Worth keeping up with if you are a fan, especially towards the end of the series where things come together (although there is no certainty it will last that long on our screens).

This week the man JT, our International Correspondent James Talia joins us live from far away. There are more adventures from the Golden Age of Television. There’s Quotes. And Brett takes us through the weird and wonderful searches that bring people to Boxcutters.

Plus heaps of News, and a helping of Pork.

88 – Late but great:

• RSS feed
• iTunes
• Direct Download

International Post Express

I know you don’t use iTunes anymore but this might be useful to put on the Boxcutters blog for people who have the occasional problem. You know how iTunes sometimes stuffs up and only downloads a portion of a podcast then it won’t let you download it again because it thinks you’ve already got it. Well if you collapse the list of the particular podcast in question then hold Shift on a PC or Option on a Mac then expand it again it will update the list and show you all the ones that you’ve deleted or need to re-download.

We look at another dodgy scam trying to lure in people with bad credit history and low I.Q.s in I Don’t Buy It.

There is another installment of The Golden Age of Television, featuring two ripper HBO shows – Carnivale and Oz.

And we finally get to the much promised Letters To Boxcutters.

here7:

• RSS feed
• iTunes
• Direct Download

here too: send us email

Meanwhile 24 has been greenlit for another two season. This should take them through until 2123 in 24 time.

Hopefully it is good news. FNL is a great show (Not to be confused with local Big Brother spin off Friday Night LIVE which isn’t).

I guess after 18 months of claiming it was ‘building’ when there was no real change in the ratings Nine had to do something. Like the whole Rowe departure you just have to wonder why it has taken this long.

Enjoy.

Listen:

• RSS feed
• iTunes
• Direct Download

Say: send us email

What is happening this week? Are there any segments? If so, what? I Don’t Buy It? Crap TV? WHO KNOWS!

And what about guests? Maybe there are and maybe there’s not. What about inflamed rhetoric?

You will have to listen in to find out.

It’s all in Boxcutters Episode 82 SHOW OF MYSTERY!!!

Listen if you dare:

• RSS feed
• iTunes
• Direct Download

Complaints: send us email

It can’t be a coincidence can it? ‘Yes, sure Naomi, you can do your own Springer/Oprah style chat show’ snigger, snigger, snigger.

What other explaination could there be? Surely Channel 7 can’t seriously be considering about a Naomi fronted talk fest.

Fantastic special guest. We delve into just a small sample of his incredible, four decade career.

Plus News, Quotes, Raines, good and bad cooking shows, factual inaccuracies, blah, blah, blah

but Pete Smith!! Wow.

Enjoy:

• RSS feed
• iTunes
• Direct Download

Email Us: here

Also, please note the plan is to turn all the South Park/Family Guy stuff into one big thread, which Josh is going to do…… Any time now……..[Which you can find here:- Josh]

WHY I LIKE SOUTH PARK

[Check it out after the jump:- Josh]

Here is why I like South Park. South Park does two things particularly well ? parody and satire. The parody is very funny, whether they are parodying specifics television or movies (like last week’s excellent 24 ep, or the recent go over for Super Nanny and Nanny 911) or parodying more general clich?s. The attacking of innumerable film and TV clich?s has created many of my all time favourite episodes such as the ep when Stan is challenged to a ski race which he must win to save the youth center, get the girl and free some Indian spirits despite having only started learning to ski a few days prior or the episode where they have put together a dance crew after getting challenged to a dance off. Or the early episode parodying clip show episodes, retelling several South Park stories with slight differences, all ending in getting ice cream. Or the one where everyone bar Butters ignored Cartman, who then assumed he was dead and kept trying to do one last good deed to ascend into heaven.

Almost every episode is a clever parody of some film or television clich?s. It is witty and it’s funny.

They also attack clich?s from day to day life with great results, like the time the boys discovered their parents had deliberately given them chicken pox, so the deliberately give their parents herpes. Or the flip of team sports ? where the whole team wants to lose rather than win so they can stop playing baseball and get on with their summer.

South Park is very clever at bending your expectations. This alone (the unexpected) can be hugely funny, like what happens to Ike’s peewee ice hockey team in the big game, or Cartman grinding his enemy’s parents up and feeding them to him in chilli.

SP also does great satire. Great satire should make you think about issues. It should make you question. South Park satire isn’t usually terribly subtle, but is often very funny and true. Like the take on obsession with cosmetic surgery to make people ‘look on the outside like they feel on the inside’ resulting in Kyle getting a Negro-plasty and his dad getting a dolphin-plasty. Or the run of bi-curious suicides reacting against being changed by over zealous Christians. Or the satire of teacher student relationships with 4-year-old Ike having an affair with his kindergarten teacher. It’s all funny and does make you question the society we live in.

When they cover current events it’s even better, like the beaver dam/New Orleans episode or the genius take on the 2000 presidential elections reworked as Ike’s kindergarten elections. This is stinging satire and their lightning turn around from concept to episode means they are usually incredibly relevant and up to date.

The way the characters have been developed is very clever too. Obviously they are not realistic 10 year olds, but I love the mix of world-weariness and naivety Stan and Kyle have. It is continually funny. Something else I enjoy is something South Park has inherited from the Simpsons and that is that all are on an even playing field in SP. Rich, poor, black, white, democrat, republican ? everybody in the South Park universe is stupid. And everybody is as stupid as each other. Certainly the adults are.

And you know what else I love about South Park? Butters. Butters rocks. Whether he or his alter ego Professor Chaos, an episode with Butters in it is usually a good one. He is just so buoyant and innocent and likable (“Lou, lou, lou ? I’ve got some apples”). Love Butters.

Hmmm, for some reason I feel like watching some South Park!!

As for why I don’t like Family Guy, well that’s a whole nother story…

WWE boss Vince McMahon lost the Battle Of The Billionaires match and thus his hair when his ridiculously large steed Umega was felled by first the guest referee Steve Austin then his opponent Bobby Lashy.

Overall the match was marred by introduction of a second referee, use of a steel bin and Trump’s acting.

Trump was even called upon to do some wrestling, clothes-lining McMahon and later receiving a stunner from Stone Cold Steve Austin, neither terribly convincing, proving perhaps he should stick to yelling tasks at sycophants in The Apprentice.

I saw bits. It still just seemed like Rove to me, maybe a little less polished because of the time off.

What did other people think?

Epsidoe 79 – So fresh and crispy we had to deliver it a full day early.

And what a show. This week we chortle over the new Eddie Izzard comedy The Riches, we reveal who said what to who with Quotes from the upcoming Amazing Race All Stars, we have a bit of a kick of the footy, and we bank some cliches in I Don’t Buy It. Plus we read the news and pork the pork.

More fun than a talking parrot doll.

Here:

• RSS feed
• iTunes
• Direct Download

Now: send us email

Last night Coonan huffed and puffed her way through Lateline, in a condescending and patronising manner, attacking Labor’s new broadband initiative.

Her main arguments seemed to be that if Labor’s plan would eventually run at a profit, it shouldn’t need any initial investment (an argument proving she has as good a grasp of business as she does of everything else) and that the government are committed to providing the bush with the same level of service metro enjoys.

What’s that 256? 512?

We are falling dangerously behind the developed world on this. A study highlighted in The Age showed in Paris for the equivalent of $50 Australian they get 24Mbps, unlimited downloads, unlimited VOIP calls within France and 100 TV channels coming in through the internet.

And it is not just for entertainment purposes. The lack of a world class broadband service will start to effect the way we do business, the economy, everything.

Nobody is suggesting the bush doesn’t need broadband. That is not the issue here. And I know we have a vast, somewhat isolated country and that there are complex problems which need to be overcome. So overcome them. Just sitting around saying there are problems and doing nothing won’t help. Neither will Telstra and the government just blaming each other.

It is heading towards as big a stuff up as digital TV. Only this matters even more.

This week we have a Things You May Have Missed Life On Mars, two, count ‘em two I Don’t Buy Its, News, Ratings, Pork and a Raywatch (although frankly I don’t think the Raywatch has leg to stand on).

Enjoy

Here:

• RSS feed
• iTunes
• Direct Download

Now: send us email

It’s not entirely unexpected given the show only just survived the chop last year, then had this season’s order cut by 4 episodes.

Still it is bound to upset the small but dedicate army of fans. I guess we will never find out how Veronica did at the FBI academy.

The last few episode screen in the states in May (while Channel 10 has slotted them in for 2236).

The 4 movies 90 minute movies will be reconfigured into 16 episodes. That’s bound to work.

Oh well, new Futurama is new Futurama.

Firstly why has it taken SBS so long to screen it? Season 11 has already started in the States. South Park famously has a week turn around from idea to finished product, meaning it can be a relevant, up to the minute satire. This is somewhat negated if SBS don’t screen the episodes for 12 months.

Secondly for some reason SBS is starting with Tsst – a great ep but episode number 8 in the series. For those less numerically inclined that means they have left out episodes one to seven.

My guess is that SBS is trying to make itself as despised as the commercial networks – first ads, now contempt for the viewers by ignoring the running order. How long until they claim these faults are just them responding to viewer suggestion and giving us what we asked for?

Whether they used Liz O’Neil’s name or not, it’s a pretty cheap stunt whatever.

Aaaah, the memories. That’s right – tonight after 74 episodes we FINALLY discuss the wrestling!!

So BRING IT!!! It’s Showtime. This week:

We lay the smackdown on some craptacular Crap TV nonsense from Channel 7.

We reveal a huge Trump secret (an exclusive if you ignore all other media reports).

And we bust a chair on some News, before throwing some Quotes and Pork through some tables, but only if you smeeeeelll what the Boxcutters are cooking.

Also this weeks audience poll: Ratings discussion, should we? Ratings yes, ratings no, let us know.

Can You Dig It, Sucka?:

• RSS feed
• iTunes
• Direct Download

The Best There Is, The Best There Was, The Best There Ever Will Be: send us email

Putting water in a swimming pool is hardly a news story, even in draught stricken Victoria. No one cares about the stupid swimming. I know Channel 9 will be broadcasting every tedious stroke in an attempt to claw back some ratings after 7′s pounding start to the year, BUT IT IS NOT NEWS!!!

Stop diluting your news with this hacky, cross promoting crap.

Quigley Down Under – No
Species – Yes (but really no)
Charlie’s Angels:Full Throttle – Oh God No!!
Ransom – No
Twelve Mile Road – More Tom Selleck?!? No
Instinct – No
Donnie Darko – No, no, NO!!!!!!!!!

And then finally – Saturday 1:30pm

The Poseido Adventure – Yes

Phew.

Ridiculous. The repetition is one thing, but such an unlikely and easily remembered premise being repeated is just stupid.

Also, after my ranting and raving (and possible spolier-ing) last week this week’s Lost was AWESOME. Everything I love about Lost in a fantastic little 42 odd minute package. Yum. Good work Lost people, I’m back on board. Don’t let me down again.

Entertainment Tonight is going gangbusters on the whole Anna Nicole death, devoting entire shows to the aftermath in a fashion not seen by them since it was nothing but OJ, credits to credits. Of course they have been covering the whole Bahamas/Dannielynn/drug binge pretty hard since Smith’s son died in September last year and because of that they’ve been in the right place at the right time and in tight with that loopey possible father and great quote giver Howard K Stern. Riverting stuff.

Meanwhile closer to home the Jodi/Mercedes/Schapelle wars have been great current affairs fodder. If it keeps up this weeks entire Boxcutters may end up being one giant Raywatch.

Come back Media Watch! I would love to see their take on it all.

Hey all – Join us as we leisurely pick our way through the bits and pieces of television whatever for the week.

There’s News, so you are informed and update with all TV’s doings. It’s that time of year again so we take a look at the big ratings wars, focusing in on Monday and Wednesday showdowns. We lift the embargo long enough to rant and rave and rant some more about the insidious new footy broadcast deal. We dive into the somehow life affirming crapness that is The Con Test. There is a sneak peek at the new Series 18 of The Simpson. All this and a generous helping of Pork.

Enjoy:

• RSS feed
• iTunes
• Direct Download

Talk To Us: send us email

I like the bit where Kate said she wanted off the island and Sawyer said sure, we’ll just use my motorcycle to jump that shark and we’ll be free………

(According to the artical the decision to show Outrageous Fortune as local content “angered Australian actors”. Well I guess that fits, actors are the most important people in the industry, if not the world)

Mind you The Age is also reporting that CBS is shooting a pilot based on David Lynch’s ‘Wild At Heart’. As fun and as short lived as that would be, the series is actually based on the twee British family drama of the same name about a vet who drags his family off to Africa which screened here on 10 recently. One of a very large number of British remakes on the cards, including Blackpool and Footballers Wives.

But what will the length be? Back to the traditional podcast length? Longer than the radio shows? Or a whole new length just to keep you on your toes?

Guess you’ll have to wait and see………

Very impressive figures. It will be very interesting to see how it goes once the immensely popular House returns on 10.